This is why veterinary medicine is so hard.
Only one veterinarian in my entire time in vet school ever spoke openly about a patient who died on his watch.
Only one.
His name was Michael Schaer, DVM, DACVIM, DACVECC, Professor Emeritus at the University of Florida College of Veterinary Medicine.
Thank goodness he did.
Dr. Schaer—known to many of us as Uncle Mikey—told us about the McNalty puppy who died from a vaccine reaction while he was an intern, years earlier. He didn’t hide it. He didn’t minimize it. He showed us his failure, his humility, and his humanity. And in doing so, he gave new veterinarians permission to understand a truth we rarely speak out loud:
We will not win every case.
We will make mistakes.
And sometimes, someone’s beloved pet will die while entrusted to our care.
Every veterinarian.
Every technician.
Every person who works in this field will experience losses they cannot explain.
Losses that shouldn’t have happened.
It may be rare—but it never leaves you.
Snowball… or Snowflake.
Luigi.
Hosanna.
I am a better veterinarian because of you.
After weeks of sleepless nights, I eventually had to forgive myself for the loss of these beautiful souls who were entrusted to my care. It took me nearly 30 years to finally forget whether that sweet kitty was named Snowball or Snowflake—and to realize that my heart had finally forgiven itself for what my mind never forgot.
Veterinarians are not supported in grief.
We are not taught how to process patient loss.
We are not coached or mentored in how to navigate death.
We learn as we go—and it is the hardest part of this profession.
That is why I am building drcookevet.com.
To support the mental health of the veterinary community.
To help excellent, compassionate healers survive the moments that nearly break them.
And to remind every veterinarian: you are not alone.
